After a significant pause we'll be picking up Indifference again in a little over two weeks with the first, of a number of performances, taking place in Dusseldorf. This pause, during which we have all been busy doing many other things, can give us a chance to see the performance in a fresh light. I will therefore be studying the video closely over the next few days and making notes. I am only able to do this now as things have been so busy that it has been a case of rushing from one thing to the next and this Indifference performance is the next on the horizon. I was shocked when I recently reviewed videos of the other performance I made last year ahead of performances and noticed some elementary things that could be changed and which lifted it with no huge effort. My instinct is that Indifference is more tightly constructed and will not change as much, but only time will tell.
Even though I may not have been performing the show it has not disappeared from the body. That I know for sure as I do from time to time play the five songs and dance along to them as best I can in the living room, squeezing a line dance between the dining table and wall. I also became aware that my arms were not strong enough to maintain the God pointing action that I do at a certain point. Somehow it is really tiring to raise and lower the arms slowly from horizontal to vertical above the head for any length of time. I have therefore been training this using light weights that have hopefully firmed up the shoulders a little.
It will also be necessary to revisit the ideas, to reconnect with the performance on this level. The basic concepts are all fairly clear and I have had conversations developing them many times since last September. However, a performance is more than just a set of ideas, it provides a context for them and space where they come into relation with one another. How the many elements may connect is something that can only be properly considered within the performance itself as it creates the context for this. It is densely packed and multi-layered, resisting closure of meaning. This means I should be careful of cleaning anything up to much, at the risk of throwing out the baby with the bathwater. In reviewing it, it is necessary to consider it as a process and not just as a completed work, a process that we must reconnect with rather than creating a facsimile of the destination. While that is particularly true of me when making changes and editing the work it is also true of all of us as performers of the piece. Having access to the larger well of experiences makes for a richer performance.
